I have been thinking about lately has been communication, and I'm not just talking about letters and emails I love receiving. I'm talking about talking, and being honest. Do you realize how important it is to tell others what you are feeling? I felt that communication was important before my mission, but since my first transfer, that has been emphasized like nothing else.
Have you ever had ants in your pants? I have. I was once taking advantage of the short summer months with my friend (Now Sister) Rachel Thompson. We were taking pictures of flowers on our walk around the beautiful lakes in Lacombe. As I sat close to a flower, taking a picture of the shrubbery, I felt a tiny pinch. And then another. And another.
I had ants in my pants.
I didn't know that actually happened! It was terrible! I was so uncomfortable! I told her we needed to go home, because I had ants in my pants. So I dropped her off at her house and started driving home in my manual transmission car. I was VERY uncomfortable, and suffering from bugs biting my rear end. Consequently, I wasn't properly using my clutch foot, or my foot for the gas and the break. I went around a corner with a man behind me and I was starting and stopping like mad. The man driving behind me had a choice. He could be angry, or he could assume that maybe I was a nice person, perhaps even a professional driver, and was just having a bad day. How was he to know what I had ants in my pants?
Later, in another instance, I was talking to one of my friends as we drove. I was dealing with a lot of really difficult emotions, and I was having a hard time doing so. I made an off-hand thoughtless comment to him and silence followed for a couple of moments. I would not have known how much I hurt him unless he asked me a question that I'm sure took some courage to ask. He asked me in a quiet, calm voice, "did you really mean that?"
To this day I consider that very profound. Being offended is selfish. When something someone does or says to you makes you feel hurt, do you ask yourself that? I believe that it is VERY rare that people actually say or do things with malicious intents. We all have something going on in our lives, our own "ants in our pants." It is important to remember this. When feelings of hurt arise, I want you to consider the intent behind others actions. And this is where communication comes in! "Did you really mean that," was the perfect thing to say in the situation. My friend could have easily been offended and not talked to me for the rest of the ride, but instead he gave me a chance to realize what I had said and apologize for it. I hadn't realized before how much it would have hurt him. My intents were not in any way harmful.
These negative feelings can grow inside and become hatred and anger. Please don't let this happen. Ask others about how they feel, and just as importantly, make it known to others how you feel! It can be simple, small statements that make the difference.
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